cool stuff

this is gonna be very long so i suggest nobody reads this.

okay, first my rant about a certain someone. okay, you are, simply put, one cold-hearted bitch. like do you have any soul at all? i mean there’s no shit you’ve lost so many girl friends over the years, because you don’t know how to treat your friends. essentially, you just kinda suck. i’ve always been there for you. whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, or someone to hang out with so you’re not alone, i’ve always been there. but now i really just feel like you’ve only been using me for support and not “to be alone” instead of actually caring for me as a person or for our friendship. like when i see you at out-of-school functions, you act as though you barely know me. am i suddenly not cool enough for you? why do you care so fucking much about what other people think? you pretend not to, but you really are the most self-conscious person ever. and i feel for you on that one. but i can’t be sympathetic as long as your a horrible friend.

i was at this birthday party last month, and i overheard you talking shit about me. i brushed it off because i wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. but really, you were simply talking behind my back just to make conversation with a guy and get a laugh. well, you are now welcome to go fuck yourself. thank you for making me feel like such complete shit that night. thanks for betraying the trust i had so generously bestowed on you. thanks for really having my back, because you totally value our friendship over a random guy you met at a party.

most of the times, i’m not this mean to people at all. in fact, generally, i like pretty much everybody. i just value loyalty a lot. and when i look back on all our memories together, much of it is me listening to your problems and you being cold to me. i honestly don’t see the point in our friendship anymore. but at the same time i don’t also want to be a bitch and ignore you. should i try to talk to you? i don’t know, you might play it off as me overreacting and just make everything awkward. i don’t not want to friends with you. but i guess i’m asking for a little in return, something i feel like you never give me. i’m always there for you, but you don’t even mention me as your friend.

now that ive got that off my chest….changing subjects to you. you suck at texting. me. basically you should text me. cause everytime i look at my phone im hoping there’s something from you. but…there’s not. and i feel like you’re interested, but at the same time you’re flirty and like that with everyone. but i just feel like our personalities are actually just perfect together. you’re the perfect combination of weird and funny and cute and idk where im going with this, but you should probably hmu more often.

lastly, i went to the gv retreat this weekend. and, i came home insanely depressed. i see all these awesome kids and im just so jealous. i wish i was a first year and could do it all over again. but it also just make me realize how the good stuff in life, its awesome that it happened. but you have to move on and keep making more awesome things happen. because if you dwell in the past and just yearn for something that’s already gone, its just gonna leave you feeling empty.

woo-hoo all done!